ilikewhatyousee:

“the next thing i’m going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the mayflower as a shout-out to our pilgrim forefathers. then i’m going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. why? because it’s not summer, it’s not winter, and it’s not spring. grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it’s fall, fuckers.”